| MONEY |
| MONEY |
| MONEY |

| PERSONALLY, I FOUND THIS VERY AMUSING... |
| IF ANYONE WANTS TO OFFER ME THIS MUCH MONEY FOR THE SITE, I WILL GLADLY TAKE IT AND PUT IT TOWARDS MY PLASTIC SURGERY FUND. (MY CLICKING FORTUNE OF 25 UNARRIVED EURO EARNED BY OVER SEVEN YEARS OF ZOMBIELIKE FINGER WORK IS NOT REALLY SUFFICIENT.) I JUSTIFY MY PLASTIC SURGERY PLAN ON THE GROUNDS THAT I WANT TO LOOK LIKE LOUISE BROOKS NOT BARBIE. THIS MAKES THE PROJECT AESTHETIC AND ARTISTIC RATHER THAN SHALLOW AND SELF SERVING. (NO ARGUMENTS PLEASE.) ANYONE WHO WISHES TO DONATE TO THE FUND CLICK THIS BUTTON. YOU WILL BE AIDING A VISUALLY CREATIVE ENDEAVOUR (AND HELPING ME ACHIEVE MY REVENGE ON MOST OF HUMANITY AND POSSIBLY GOD TOO)(BUT MORE ABOUT THAT AT ANOTHER TIME). FOR ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS REVENGE ON GOD THERE IS A LIST OF CREATIVE WAYS TO SPITE GOD IN ANOTHER SECTION OF THE SITE (FIND IT YE'RE FUCKIN SELVES). IN THE MEANTIME CHECK OUT MY AWESOME DAILY PAGEVIEW!! I HOPE ALL THOSE IMAGINARY PEOPLE ARE READING THIS RIGHT NOW!!! |
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1) PRAY FOR STRIPED PAINT AND A GLASS HAMMER 2)CREATE LIFE (SEE FRANKENSTEIN AND REANIMATOR) 3)CLAIM SOCIAL WELFARE IN HIS NAME USING HIS DETAILS 4)DEVOLVE FROM BEING A HUMAN INTO AN AMOEBA-LIKE STATE (I AM CURRENTLY DOING THIS VERY SUCCESSFULLY) 5)LET THE AIR OUT OF HIS TYRES (SIMPLE BUT EFFECTIVE) 6)GO FORTH BUT NEVER EVER MULTIPLY (I'M SUCCESSFULLY DOING THIS ONE AS WELL) 7)KILL PEOPLE AND SAY HE TOLD YOU TO DO IT. (TO BE HONEST THIS ONE DOESN'T WORK AND WILL GET YOU LOCKED UP. WHY PEOPLE ARE SO RETICENT TO BELIEVE THAT A GOD WHO ALLOWED THE INVENTION OF CHEESE STRINGS WOULD TELL PEOPLE TO COMMIT MURDER IS BEYOND ME HOWEVER)8)USE PAGES FROM THE GOOD NEWS BIBLE AS EMERGENCY CIGARETTE PAPERS (THIS IS MORE PRACTICAL ADVICE THAN HUMOUR REALLY) 9)FORGE PROOF THAT YOUR ANCESTORS WROTE THE BIBLE AS A JOKE WHILE THEY WERE ENDLESSLY WAITING FOR THE INVENTION OF TELEVISION. |

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