ULTRASPAM
the spam antidote

ULTRASPAM
is completely free (unlessyou want to
give me all your money!!!)
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ULTRASPAM
WITH IT'S UNEARTHLY INGREDIENT SPAMDEMON
may be
completely
100% inneffective
(if you are lucky)
THIS IS MY STORY
HOW SPAM DROVE ME OVER THE
EDGE
I tried everything with spam.
I tried changing my hatemail address
I sent the fuckers snotty ingenious replies,
I tried  medication
I tried self mutilation
NOTHING WORKED
YES THAT'S RIGHT
NOTHING WORKED
It is because of this tragic existential near
to midlife crisis that I developed
ULTRASPAM
I quickly discovered  the flaw in my
former methods
And why did these methods not work?
Because they were not
DENSE
enough.
The basic reason why conventional
spamfighting methods
DO NOT WORK
is that
SPAM IS DENSE!!!
IN FACT the horrible truth is
SPAM HAS A DENSITY
THAT CANNOT BE
FOUGHT BY THE
EARTHLY WORLD
OR IT'S INHABITANTS
USING THIS SHOCKING
INFORMATION
I SET ABOUT SEARCHING FOR AN ANSWER
AMONG THE
DENIZENS
OF THE
UNDERWORLD
WHERE i DISCOVERED A
SPAMDEMON
YES SUCH A CREATURE REALLY
EXISTS!!!
I WAS QUICK TO ENLIST THIS HORRORFUL
(AND YET STRANGELY SEDUCTIVE) CREATURES
HELP
BY SELLING MY SOUL TO IT
(TO HELP ME BUY BACK MY SOUL  )




IN EXCHANGE FOR A PHOTOGRAPH TO USE
AGAINST SPAM
IN ADDITION TO THIS, AFTER FOUR MORE YEARS
OF ARDUOUS UNPAID RESEARCH
DURING WHICH MY FAMILY STARVED TO DEATH




I DISCOVERED THE DENSITY OF SPAM SENT
BACK TO ITSELF THREE TIMES OVER
(ANTI-SPAM) WILL SEDATE IT INTO A
ZOMBIELIKE STATE
IN WHICH IT IS
EASIER TO KILL
CUNNINGLY WEAVING THESE TWO
ELEMENTS TOGETHER I CREATED
ULTRASPAM
WITH
SPAMDEMON AND
ANTI-SPAM
THE ONLY
THING THAT HAS
A O.00006%
CHANCE OF
KILLING SPAM
STONE DEAD



FOR FREE
UNDER PAIN
OF DEATH
CLICK HERE
NOW
AND GET
FUCK
ALL
FORFREE!!!
YOU HAVE NEW
HATEMAIL
CLICK HERE TO
READ
(all proceeds from
clicking go to satans
septum inc.)
CLICK
HERE
TO
SEE
HOW
SEXY
YOU
ARE
CLICK HERE
TO KILL TIME
BOREDOM
CLICK
(DOES
NOTHING)
YOU
HAVE
WON
FUCK
ALL
From: Madam Mary Harley<madam_mary@yahoo.cn> <mmmm@acornexpressservices
Subject: Be my Beneficiary to the funds.Date: Monday, June 2, 2008, 6:28 AM
From Madam Mary Harley
Here writes  Mary Harley suffering from cancerous  ailment.  When my late behalf was alive he left huge amount  
of money which were derived from his vast estates and investment in capital market. Presently, the investment
portfolio is still on April this year.  Recently, my doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the
cancerous problems I am suffering from, So, I decided to contact you due  to time limit. Though what bothers me
most is the stroke that  I have in addition to the cancer. With this hard reality that has befallen my family, and me
I have decided to donate this fund to you and want you to use this gift which comes  from my husband's effort to
fund the upkeep of  widows, widowers, orphans, destitute, the down-trodden, physically challenged children,  
barren-women and persons who prove to  be  genuinely handicapped financially.   It is often said that blessed is
the hand that  giveth. I took this decision because I do not   have any child that will inherit this money  and my
husband relatives are bourgeois and very   wealthy persons and I do not want my husband hard earned money
to be misused or invested into ill perceived ventures. I do not want a situation where this money will be used in
an  ungodly manner, hence the reason for taking  this bold decision. I am not afraid of death  hence I know
where I am going. I know that I am going to be with the Almighty when I eventually pass on. The Almighty will
fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I do not need any telephone Communication in this regard due to my
deteriorating health and because of the presence of my husband relatives around me  but I will give you
telephone number of an attorney that will draft the letter of Introduction and all other legal documents as soon as
I hear from you. I want you to stand as the new beneficiary to the   funds. As soon as I receive your reply I shall
give you the contact of the firm where the funds are being deposited in Europe. I will also send you a letter of
introduction  that will empower you as the new the custodian  and beneficiary of this fund. My happiness is that I
lived a life worthy of emulation. Please always be prayerful all through your life. Please assure me that you will
act just as I have stated herein.Please send all emails to my confidential emails Below:
madam_mary@live.co.uk madam_mary@yahoo.com
Yours sincerely Madam Mary Harley.
Subject: Re: Be my Beneficiary to the funds.  To: madam_mary@live.co.uk
Date: Thursday, June 5, 2008, 12:46 AM
Dear madam mary            
Alas I feel myself to be unworthy of this exalted position.  Due to a period of lassitude and illness
in my youth I have developed a soul that is tainted with lust and indolence and am now incapable
of pursuing such a saintly path.  I also have to remain near the home of my youth in order to nurse
my brother who is ailing and hysterical with a chronic case of the pox.  I wish you well in your
quest and hope that you soon find a suitable candidate   Yours, Le daemon de spam
date: Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:01:41 +0200
From: jubril.ha3@didiazudah.org
Subject: URGENT REPLY PLEASE,FROM THE DESK OF MR JUBRIL HASSAN
AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING SECTION OF BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A) OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA-FASO
WEST AFRICA
Dear
Friend,?
I am MR Jubril Hassan, the director in charge of auditing and accounting section of Bank of Africa (BOA)
Ouagadougou Burkina-Faso West-Africa with due respect and regard. I have decided to contact you on a
business transaction that will be very beneficial to both of us at the end of the transaction.During our
investigation and auditing in this bank, my department came across a very huge sum of money belonging to a
deceased person Mr.Emmanuel  Etukudo who died on May 2nd, 2004 in a gassy car accident with his entire
family on there way back from Bobo-Dioulasso the formal capital city of Burkina-Faso, and the fund has been
dormant in his account with this Bank without any claim of the fund in our custody either from his family or
relation before our discovery to this development.The said amount was U.S $9.8M (Nine million eight hundred
United States dollars). As it may interest you to know, I got your impressive information through yahoo search on
foreign business relations here in Ouagadougou Burkina-Faso. Meanwhile all the whole arrangement to put
claim over this fund as the bona fide next of kin to the deceased, to get the required approval and transfer this
money to a foreign account has been put in place and directives, and needed information will be relayed to you
as soon as you indicate your interest and willingness to assist me and also benefit your self to this great
business opportunity.
In fact I could have done this deal alone but because of my position in this country as a civil servant (A Wanker),
we are not allowed to operate a foreign account and would eventually raise an eye brow on my side during the
time of transfer because I work in this bank. This is the actual reason why it will require a second party or fellow
who will forward claims as the next of kin with affidavit of trust of oath to the Bank and also present a foreign
account where he will need the money to be re-transferred into on his request as it may be after due verification
and clarification by the correspondent branch of the bank where the whole money will be remitted from to your
own designation bank account.I will not fail to inform you that this transaction is 100% risk free. On
smooth conclusion of this transaction, you will be entitled to 40% of the total sum as gratification, while 60% will
be for me. Please, you have been advised to keep 'top secret' as I am still in service and intend to retire from
service after we conclude this deal.I will be monitoring the whole situation here in this bank until you confirm
the money in your account and ask me to come down to your country for subsequent sharing of the fund
according to percentages previously indicated and further investment, either in your country or any country you
advice us to invest in. All other necessary vital information will be sent to you when I hear from you. I will be
expecting to hear from you soonest.Have a nice day
Dear sir
Gassy car accidents are generally caused by severe indigestion and can be so easily prevented.  I
can see how this terrible tragedy happened, however, and feel grateful and privileged that you
chose me to try and arouse your dormant funds.  Unfortunately however the idea of being rich fills
me with horror.  I believe two hundred percent in your plan but cannot take the risk that I might
accumulate any wealth for I fear I have an allergy to money.  It is a tragic condition that first
afflicted me when I was a very young girl.  When confronted by coinage I would become severely
ill and inflamed in all areas and my mind would become diseased by the most wanton desires for
sweetmeats and world domination.  It became obvious to me at that tender age that money was a
danger to me and I have taken great lengths to shun the stuff ever since.  I have had a healthy but
very lonely life and I must confess to feeling bitter and resentful at times.  My main comforts when
this happens have been violent pornography and abusive phone calls to family members.  I fear
that this is the end of the matter and we must correspond no more.  I hope that you find someone  
more suitable to assist you with your dormant funds. Adieu
Le Daemon DeSpam
MR Jubril Hassan,
Date: Wed, 3 Sep 2008 17:33:51 -0700 From: jonesokoma0@yahoo.com.co Subject: GOOD DAY
¡Tengo nueva dirección de correo! Ahora puedes escribirme a:jonesokoma0@yahoo.com.co
- TEMPLE CHAMBERS & ASSOCIATES (LEGAL PRACTITIONAL)No: 85,Western
Avenue,Surulere,Lagos.Email:(jonesokoma@hotmail.com)ATTN Sir/Ma,It is obvious that this proposal will come
to you as a suprise.This is because we have not met before but I am inspired to sending you this email by the
huge fund transfer opportunity that will be of mutual benefit to the two of us.
However, I am barrister jones okoma, Attorney to the late Engr. Benjamin City, a national of Isle of Man in UK,
who used to work  with Shell Petroleum Development Company(SPDC) in Nigeria. On
the 11th of November,1997.My client,his wife And their three children were involved in a car accident along
Sagamu/Lagos Express Road.Unfortunately they all lost their lives in the
event of the accident, Since then I have made several enquiries to several Embassies to locate any of my
clients extended relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful.After these several
unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his relatives over the Internet to locate any member of his family ,
hence I contacted you.I contacted you to assist in repartrating the money  and property left behind by my client,I
can easily convince the  bank with my legal practice that you are the only surviving relation of my
client.Otherwise the Estate he left behind will be Confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank where this
huge deposits were lodged.Particularly, the Bank where the
deceased had an account valued at about $15 million U.S dollars (fifteen million U.S.America
dollars).Conseqently, The bank has isued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account  Confiscated
within the next ten official working days.Since I have been unsuccesfull in locating the relatives for over
several  years now.I seek your consent to present you as the deceased`s  next of kin so that the proceeds of this
account valued at $15million U.S dollars can be paid to your account to be shared between us as follows 55% to
me and 40% to you,while 5% should be for expenses or tax as your government may require.All I require is your
honest co-operation to enable us see this deal through, and forward the following to me.Your Full Name:Your
Age and Gender;Your Nationality:Your House Address:
Your Occupation:Your Tele-phone And Fax No:I guarantee that
this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will
protect you from any breach of the law.Please get in touch with
me by my email to enable us discuss further. Yours Faithfully,
Barrister jones okoma (SAN.)NB: PLEASE,REPLY MY MAIL TO THIS
EMAILADDRESS(jonesokoma@hotmail.com)
Dear sir
Extending relatives is a very lengthy and arduous task and for
the most part unrewarding.  I myself have attempted to extend
many of my own relatives (on a rack) and only once have I found the
achievement of this as exciting and pleasurable as the anticipation
beforehand.  Many more times did I find myself mildly disappointed
which I assure you is an INTOLERABLE state in which to spend
seven years.  But enough of my problems. I recommend you get all
the relatives (pre extended or not, either will do) together in
one place (lure them with the prospect of vicious character assassination
and ham sandwiches) and blow there **cking heads off with a shotgun.  It's a much simpler
process and the intense maniacal sense of power and righteousness that one feels afterwards is
orgasmic.
Have a nice day
Le daimon de spam.
AND NOW AT LAST
ULTRASPAM!
WARNING:DO NOT SEND FROM YOUR OWN HATEMAIL ADDRESS
IF YOU HAVE ACCESS TO THE HATEMAIL ADDRESS OF SOMEBODY YOU
CAN'T STAND, SEND IT FROM THEIRS. OTHERWISE SET UP A NEW ONE
FOR GODS SAKE!
AWWWWWWWWWWWWW
WWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
SOMEONE
HAS A
CRUSH
ON YOU
FROM
BEYOND
THE
GRAVE.
CLICK
TO FIND
OUT WHO!
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